*becomes educated on issues and learns not to use slurs* *literally everyone u come in contact with uses said slurs and u cringe*
i started a new sleeping medication and one of the side effects is really freakin weird dreams and last night i had a dream that by day i volunteered at a library and by night i was a crime fighting lesbian who defeated misogynists and robbers and stuff with super literary knowledge
i was appropriately titled “the lesbrarian”
no i dont want to be remembered for this
September 15, 2132
According to a recent study conducted by Harvard University, it is now literally impossible for a student to write an essay pertaining to the themes or symbolism in the popular F. Scott Fitzgerald novel The Great Gatsby without it technically being considered plagiarism.
"I’ve had a number of instances where students would ‘accidentally’ plagiarize another piece of work," says Eugene Smith, an English professor. "Sometimes what they write just happens to be almost identical to what someone else wrote. This was less of a problem earlier in the century, but lately… every essay seems identical to one I’ve already read before."
The study claims that, due to the sheer quantity of papers written on The Great Gatsby, there are “virtually no formations of words pertaining to symbolism and/or theme in The Great Gatsby that have not already been written at least once. Henceforth, any organization of words about the aforementioned novel will, inevitably, bare enough resemblance to at least one, but probably many more, previous writings on the subject, and would therefore technically be considered plagiarism. It’s now linguistically impossible to say anything about The Great Gatsby that has not already been said multiple times, almost verbatim, no matter what.”
One English teacher, who wished to remain anonymous, said that he gave up entering students’ essays into plagiarism detecting programs, as they always showed up multiple results, dating back for decades, even when no conscious plagiarism was performed.
Teachers are currently debating whether to finally remove The Great Gatsby from the curriculum, as there is now “literally nothing left to say about it.”
Symbolism, Theme Essays on The Great Gatsby Literally Impossible To Not Plagiarize, Says Recent Study
The Wishwashington Post
you know since “fuck” and other swears have become such a regular part of my vocabulary they’ve begun to lose impact
so instead I’ve come to realize I’m using non swear words like “heck” for some sort of twisted ironic emphasis
I have come full circle
I haven’t posted a selfie in a while but I still am very cute just to keep you updated
a real job? you mean, like, an internship at the white house?
okay, well what about the national democratic party?
what about interning at the united nations?
wow damn it’s almost like our economy functions on stealing labour from hardworking young people, regardless of whether their jobs are “real” or not